Understanding trauma is essential for anyone looking to share hope and healing in their community. The church has a unique opportunity to be a place of refuge—a space where people can experience unconditional love, acceptance, and the transformative power of Jesus. Betsy de Thierry is a specialist trauma recovery consultant, psychotherapist, trainer, and charity founder. She has spent years helping individuals, churches and communities navigate the effects of trauma and discover healing.
Betsy, why should those of us living and serving on estates be thinking about the impact of trauma?
We know that most people in our communities have likely experienced some kind of trauma which is impacting their life. The same may be true of the majority of us who are called to work to bring hope, support and Jesus to our communities too. So many families and individuals seem to be just about coping. Many of them have experienced distressing events or longer-term challenges their whole life and now, post covid and with the cost of living crisis, they feel exhausted and like they are the ‘unlucky ones’.
Trauma means ‘wound’ and when we are not speaking about a medical physical trauma, we are actually speaking about psychological trauma. The wound has occurred due to any experience or repeated experience where the person feels terrified, powerless and overwhelmed, to the extent that it challenges their capacity to cope. It can leave an imprint on the person’s nervous system, emotions, body, behaviours, learning and relationships.
What is the link between mental health and trauma?
Research asserts that 1 in 3 diagnosed mental health conditions in adulthood are known to directly relate to adverse childhood experiences. This number usually wouldn’t include traumatic experiences such as emotional neglect or sexual abuse, which people often don’t recognise until much later in adulthood (often due to the repression of memories). I would argue that almost all mental health challenges are due to experiences of trauma.
Is recovery from trauma possible?
Yes! The good news is that trauma recovery is possible. In an ideal world specialised trauma therapy would be offered to everyone, but of course this isn’t possible at the moment. But there are ways to facilitate recovery.
Any project or space where we can intentionally build kind, predictable, patient and loving relationships that are long term will aid recovery from trauma. In these spaces we can also introduce people to Jesus as the only One who will never leave them or forsake them and whose presence brings hope and healing. When we introduce Jesus to people from the place of relationship, we are introducing the One who has met us in our deepest needs and has begun the work of healing our shattered hearts. From our stories and experience, we can introduce Jesus as the greatest healer and the one who ‘knitted us together’ in the first place.
What is the role of the church in trauma recovery?
Traumatised people desperately need communities which intentionally aim to help people feel accepted and seen, heard and known in a non-condescending, shame reducing, authentic way. When we build communities where people can be authentic and can also hear stories of people surviving trauma they can begin to grow hope. In society in the UK there are not many options for communities of all ages other than faith groups, and yet this is specifically known to be a hugely beneficial environment. Church can be a place where the older people who may feel lonely can laugh and enjoy the children’s enthusiasm and fun, and where parents can have a helping hand. A space where we reduce shame by modelling the complexity of being a human and where we can all share our skills and knowledge for the benefit of the others. It can be the best place for children to grow up and adults to thrive, surrounded by authentic, kind people. Church should be the highlight of our week!
What are some of the mistakes churches should avoid making?
Church communities don’t work when we build them on unspoken (often subconscious) beliefs. Beliefs like, ‘well, you probably made a bad choice’ or ‘you got yourself into that mess, so you’d better get yourself out of it’ or ‘you are only accepted if you are really good and quiet and have no problems or addictions, or you’ll make us look bad.’ These can be unsaid, but can be deeply felt. It’s about ‘our vibe’ and how we communicate with people, and if they sniff the slightest bit of rejection or judgement or pity, it can cause deep emotional pain. Often people who have been through trauma feel unlovable, we need to be careful we don’t make that feeling worse. Teams who start and run community projects need to do the important work of discussing and agreeing together about their beliefs about trauma and distress and how we view behaviours that are symptoms of those terrifying experiences. There is a saying that ‘those who need love the most ask for it in the most unloving of ways’.
How important is work with younger people in this area?
We know that 50% of mental health problems are established by age 14 and 75% by age 24, which tell us that all the kids and youth provision we facilitate can literally change lives and even stop the generational trauma cycles. Churches can offer relationships that can help guide them and model emotional health. It’s important to remember that most children are desperate to find an adult relationship where they can feel safety and security and from there be able to explore who they are and make sense of the world. Children and young people often don’t have the tools to know how to develop these healthy relationships and many don’t know it’s even a possibility.
What would you say to churches who would like to be more informed about trauma and its effects?
The greatest need for traumatised people is spaces and places for all ages to be together in cultures that are intentionally shame reducing and trauma informed and where people can’t help but ask how we have recovered from our own trauma – and we can then point them to Jesus!
Connect with Betsy: traumarecoveryglobal.com