‘I don’t know how I would have got through the last few months without this place’, ‘I felt so welcome and not judged. It’s safe place to unload all your worries’.
These are the words of some of the people from our estate (Barton, Oxford), who used our listening service last year. They highlight the profound difference that having a space where we feel seen and heard can make.
We are facing a mental health crisis in the UK, and the impact is especially felt in disadvantaged communities. People in these areas are three times more likely to struggle with mental health issues compared to those in wealthier neighbourhoods. This isn’t just a statistic—it’s the daily reality for many, shaped by poverty, trauma, and a lack of accessible support. The NHS is stretched thin, with long waiting lists and limited treatment options, and private therapy just isn’t an option for those we work with.
We follow a God who cares deeply about healing – body, mind, and spirit. Emotional health is a big part of that. So, how can the Church step in to support those struggling in our communities and in our Churches?
The pandemic really highlighted the mental health needs in our community. At Barton Community Church, we decided to set up a listening service to offer better support. We trained volunteers and started getting referrals from local GPs. We began offering one-to-one listening sessions for people dealing with issues like loneliness, stress, and depression.
“Our volunteers are trained in active listening.”
Our volunteers are not professional therapists but are trained in active listening. According to the American Psychological Association people who feel truly listened to are 4 times more likely to report feeling understood and supported, and they experience significantly lower levels of stress and anxiety. Galatians 6:2 says “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.” Listening is an act of bearing someone else’s load. By giving this gift we become a reflection of God’s tangible love, offering compassion and hope to those in our community.
Offering emotional support doesn’t come easily to everyone—research shows only 10% of us listen well. Even as a trained therapist, in my personal life I’m often too quick to speak or offer solutions. Active listening means being fully present, paying attention, and setting aside our own thoughts, opinions or agendas. It’s listening to understand, not to respond, and I think it’s a skill anyone can learn.
Here are some useful tips:
Something as simple as “Tell me more about that” or “How are you feeling about that?” can make a big difference. Try to steer clear of questions that only get one-word answers.
-
Reflect back what someone is saying
This tool helps someone feel heard and understood, showing you’ve listened and giving them a chance to correct anything you’ve misunderstood. Try paraphrasing what they’ve said, starting with, “It sounds like you’re saying…”
A good listener will ask thoughtful questions to take the conversation to a deeper level. For example, ‘What do you mean when you say that everything is getting on top of you? Or ‘What does it look like for you when you’re feeling overwhelmed?’
-
Offer affirmation and encouragement
As someone is talking, it’s important to affirm how they are feeling and offer encouragement. Saying things like ‘that sounds really tough’ or ‘I can see that that is causing you a lot of anxiety’ will help someone feel valued and supported. Being open and vulnerable is not always easy, and the more we can encourage someone, the safer they will feel to open up. As humans we long to be accepted, and to feel like we belong. We don’t need to agree with what someone says to acknowledge how they’re feeling.
“The goal of deep listening is to understand,
not to provide answers.”
The goal of deep listening is to understand, not to provide answers. In this space, the person is more able to find their own solutions. It’s a simple yet profound act. Isaiah 61:1 reminds us that just as Jesus came to heal the broken-hearted, we are called to do the same. By listening deeply, we offer more than our presence—we join God’s mission to restore, heal, and bring freedom to those who are hurting, offering a glimpse of the healing and wholeness that the Holy Spirit can bring.
—
Judy works as a psychotherapist and writes and creates content on Instagram as @the.social.therapist