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Selah: Boundaries

A beginner’s guide to well-being in urban ministry. In this session, we’ll explore why boundaries matter. When the needs around us never seem to stop, it’s tempting to keep giving until we’re spent. But God doesn’t call us to exhaustion—He calls us to faithfulness within our limits. Discover how healthy boundaries can help you serve with balance, peace, and purpose.

9th October 2025

‘We will not boast about things done outside our area of authority. We will boast only about what has happened within the boundaries of the work God has given us, which includes our working with you.’ (2 Corinthians 10:13, NLT)

 


Introduction

On estates full of noise and need, it’s easy to lose track of our boundaries. We see a need and jump in headfirst. We answer the late-night messages, volunteer for one more thing, open the door to that neighbour again. And we call it ministry.

But let’s not kid ourselves. Even sprinters get disqualified if they step outside their lane. Not from lack of trying, but because they’re not where they’re meant to be. It’s the same for us. God doesn’t expect us to be on-call 24/7. But when we stray outside our lane, it’s like we disqualify ourselves from the peace God wants for us. Today’s verse shows Paul knew a thing or two about setting boundaries. Yes, he had been given authority in Corinth. That was his turf. So, he didn’t go poking around Peter’s patch trying to fix things that weren’t his to fix. He knew his limits. His boundaries. His calling. He stayed in lane. You should too. This could look different for different people, as Corin begins in this video all about boundaries.


⏵ Play the video: Boundaries Part 1

PART 1 | Reflection Questions

  • How would you describe your current boundaries around time, availability and rest? Are they working well for you?
  • When do you feel most pressured to be available? Are their certain people you feel particularly pressured to make space for? Family? Church? Neighbour? Friends? Colleagues? Those experiencing poverty near you?
  • Have you compared your own boundaries to someone else’s and felt guilt or frustration? What does that reveal about your own expectations?

Play the video: Boundaries Part 2

PART 2 | Reflection Questions

Corin suggests, that according to psychology, there are two ways we can see ourselves:

  1. Solid identity – You know who you are and what you believe. You feel good about yourself based on your values, not results or the opinions of others.
  2. Contingent identity – You feel better about yourself when things go well. The approval of others, success and outcomes alter how you think of yourself.
  • Have there been times when you said ‘yes’ to something just to feel valuable or avoid disappointing others? What happened?
  • When you are working alone, how do you check in on yourself to make sure you’re not overstretching yourself?
  • In your team context, what can you do to ensure everybody stays in lane, with a healthy and consistent approach to boundaries? What might it look like?

💬 Response activity

Write a list of your responsibilities for the month ahead. This may include relationships, jobs, tasks etc. Now prayerfully work your eyes over the list, asking God where he is inviting you to intentionally say ‘yes’, and when he is asking you to say ‘no’ or ‘not right now.’ As you review each item, be guided in peace, and not out of a sense of guilt or obligation.


🤔 Final thought

Burnout isn’t a badge of honour. Fear of letting people down, fear of not being needed, or simply not knowing where to draw the line, all point to one thing: time to review your boundaries.

You’re called to love your neighbour, but not at the cost of your own sanity. Sometimes love looks like ‘no.’ Sometimes love looks like drawing the curtains. Not answering the phone. Like silence. Sometimes the best way to love your neighbour is by loving yourself enough to say, ‘not today.’

There will always be someone at church, on your street, in your inbox, demanding more of you. But guess what? You’re not expected to fix everything. You’re not the Messiah; so, don’t get a complex. You weren’t built to carry it all, and you don’t need to. Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re sacred.


🙏 Prayer

Lord,
Bless me with boundaries.
Forgive me when I stray from my lane
And forfeit the peace you lovingly give.
Help me to stay the path you’ve set in front of me,
Not out of fear, but faith.
I come to you to catch my breath.
I trust that you will supply everything that is lacking in me.
Your grace is always sufficient for me.
May I be faithful to all you’ve called me to,
Give me discernment to know what mine is to carry, and what is yours.
Help me to rest, knowing that all the needs of my neighbours are met in you, not me.
Keep me awake to my duties, but asleep in peace at the end of my responsibilities.
Let your will be done in my home and neighbourhood,
Each morning, day, and night.
Amen.


This devotional was written by Matt Britton, and the accompanying videos were written and presented by Corin Pilling.

Written by

Corin Pilling

Corin Pilling is the Vocational Flourishing Officer for The Methodist Church, where he supports leaders to develop sustainable approaches to wellbeing. Corin recently stepped down as UK Director of Sanctuary Mental Health Ministries. He also spent 20 years working with homeless people and is passionate about helping communities thrive and building participation.

An Image of Corin Pilling

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